Sexology culture - an important remedy for the current family of diseases. There are a lot of unknown, a lot of debate and controversy, but most agree on one thing - such a culture is necessary as air. Many boys and girls, perhaps, do not hesitate to subscribe to the letter:

"Why is the school almost no attention is paid to sex education? Why do we have very few books such as "It is necessary to know every man (every woman)?" After all, these books should be a desktop for any young person, especially of the intending spouses. Nina R.. "

Most spouses do not know the ABC of sex life, many do not even know that there is some alphabet. Terra Incognita - unknown land - that's what sex life for many of us. Sometimes, even, people get along well with ignorance, that does not recognize the need for knowledge. Once at a lecture I got a note: "And indeed, why it took sexological knowledge? After all, if there are terms of love - all will be provided ... And if there is no desire, and courses will not help. So? Vladimir P.. "

Unfortunately, not. You can love with Shakespeare's power, but does not give true happiness your loved one, especially a woman. Love, sharpening intuition, enhances the chances of achieving the physical side of happiness, but lack of knowledge makes the pain hurt oneself about the hidden obstacles.

In love, there are facets to understand that even sverhintuitsiya not help - help with knowledge. As an example, the entry anesthetize adult girls on the way of love? How to help the newlyweds that they fought less on the pitfalls of a honeymoon and quickly able to adapt to each other in conjugal love? How to help mature people to avoid the monotony of blunting in the intimate life? How to overcome the diversity of temperaments? For many - in love, in family life, to understand the depths of human nature in general - need sexological knowledge, both theoretical and practical.

Sexologists of the world speak with alarm that sexual ignorance - a killer of many Love, the destroyer of many families, the cause of the mass of neuroses and illnesses, especially among women.

Several years ago, scientists were asked Leningrad divorced one thousand people a question about the physical side of their intimate life. It was found that almost a third (31%) experienced frustration, indifference and even aversion to this side of life. One fifth of the divorced (18%) did not answer the question, although the questionnaire was anonymous, perhaps, they said nothing, precisely because they have business situation was precarious. If so, then almost half of those who are divorced, have been deprived of the natural pleasures that invests in the physical nature of love.

Perhaps these figures are exaggerated, but in family relationships spiritual threads intertwined with the physical and, when the weakened or torn ones, are beginning to weaken or break, and others.

Discord in the intimate sphere, due to illiteracy, harmful to the whole of human life, and his work. According to the American social scientists, in 23% of men surveyed and 70% of women such discord - of course, through a chain of intermediate links - reduce the quality of work.

Sexologists believe that sex education will reduce the number of family disaster, to help people make more vivid family relationships.

In sex education is now the two main enemies: the one - the gap between sexuality, lack of scientific basis, the other - hypocrisy.

Hypocrisy - a descendant of Christian morality, for which sexual life was until recently fornication and bad. The impact of this morality is often not realized, but for many it was the sense of acting in a mask views of sex as something shameful, inferior, what is indecent to talk about.

Even the word "sex" frightens many. But "sex" - is simply "sex", "sexy" - "gender" and these terms are long since taken our medicine and philosophy. And if the word "sex" is used in another sense ("physical intimacy"), all the same for normal people in this word there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Genital human feeling - as opposed to an animal - not just a biological and biopsychological sense. As water is made up of oxygen and hydrogen, and human feeling - an alloy of psychologists-cal and physical sensations. It is well understood in the time of the Renaissance. D. Bruno, for example, said: "What makes me love your body, there is a spirituality that is visible in it and called us the beauty ... This shows the well-known, accessible sense of kinship of the body, and spirit. "

Swiss A. Trout, one of the fathers of sexuality, wrote in the beginning of this century, that happy family life rests on the same "mental, emotional and sexual adaptation of the people." To this happiness was long, spiritual love, he said, must from the beginning to the end accompanied by sexual love. Flaws in this side effect of love on her other side, can alienate people, their sense of cool.

Once said: love - a tree whose roots are in the carnal world, and soar high in the branches of the spiritual world. It's like the truth, but perhaps only seem: it shines a mechanical division of the person on two different floors, body and spirit.

But the spiritual and the corporeal in man is not articulated, and merged, as the colors in the rainbow, and they go at each other gently - also like the colors. We all probably know that in man there is a zone with a solid margin over the spiritual - such as the circulatory, respiratory, digestive, and there is a zone with a preponderance of the spiritual over the corporal - for example, thought, especially abstract. But apparently, most of our senses, the foundations of the psyche lies in the area of ​​an approximate balance of spirituality and physicality.

And love, the more likely it is born in this area: its roots lie in it, and the branches grow in all directions, to all corners of the body - and in the zone of superiority of the flesh and the spirit of superiority in the area.

The more sympathy, affection, psychological craving, the more there are also physical pleasure, the less psychological inclination, the lower body and joy.

Of course, much depends here on the age and the health and temperament of the sexual rights. But most normal and healthy people this is the case and the reason, apparently, just the fact that human sexuality two components: psychological and biological.

Leningrad sociologist Golod got some interesting results. He studied three groups of women: satisfied with their marriage, and poludovolnyh polunedovolnyh, very unhappy. In these different psychological groups were very different women, and physical sensations.

Women satisfied with their marriage, love and sex - friends, the physical pleasure as if they are under the magnifying glass of spiritual joy. Nine-tenths of the women in this group are from the love of the natural physical satisfaction, and a tenth is indifferent to it.

In the psychological sense poludovolnyh polupogasli not play its role as an amplifier of the physical senses. Here are a pleasure only three women out of ten - three times less than in the first group. Six out of ten have just satisfaction - poluchuvstvo, feeling dimly, and one of the ten indifferent to physical love.

Very bad things women are not satisfied with the marriage. We do not have physical sensations are allies of the senses, but only enemies, and psychological burdens, as it were deducted from physical pleasures, reducing them to zero. None of the marriage does not feel dissatisfied with the physical love of the natural pleasures. One-third of 122 women feel satisfaction - a pathetic shadow of feelings. Nearly half (five times more than satisfied) are indifferent to love, do not feel any joy from it. And the worst: every two out of ten women suffer from the painful experience of physical love - screaming contrast to what nature requires.

Apparently, the very biological nature of man is arranged so that the strength of our physical pleasures is directly dependent on the strength of spiritual joy, if we, of course, are healthy and have not grown old. Perhaps this is the central law, which governs the power of love with the joys of this person. So, apparently, for modern people - people with complicated psychology - is doubly important in their mental attitude: it is the foundation of all the joys of marriage, psychological and physical.

To know this is probably as important as knowing what's there is an inverse relationship. Bodily love is not only subject to the spiritual, but often commanded her: it may enhance it, to prolong her life, adding fuel to the flame, but can also shorten it.

Many of us understand that the culture of love - first of all spiritual culture, and the main thing in it - to treat a loved one as a person, not as a means of enjoyment. But love, as it were two-layer culture: it is the spiritual and corporeal culture and diminishing any of its sides sharply zredit another. How uncultured mind creates physical incivility and physical incivility kills emotional attraction.

In humans, says biology, there are three main organic needs, the three pillars of his whole life biopsychic. This need for food (hunger), in the drink (thirst), sexual need (libido, translated from the Latin "desire, passion"). All of them - for the benefit of its natural essence, because it supports life, filled with its joys, give the person and the biological nervous energy - the foundation of all his emotional and spiritual energy.

The sexual condition of the body is very important for the general condition of man, for the life of his senses, mind, this is one of the main engines of our bio-psychic, and if it works badly, worse than the other engines are working. As the famine plunges in dystrophy, paralyzing spiritual life, makes you think only about food and sex-hunger can shift the whole system of spiritual values ​​of man, bring it to disease.

But as overeating causes degeneration of the tissue, and sex gluttony cripples, breaks the physical and spiritual life.

All of this simple truth, which is based sex education , basic approaches to it. Here's another one of those truths: Man and woman are very different from each other in psychology and biology. Biopsychic feel they have a much different nature, different mechanisms and, therefore, sexual processes occur in different ways, especially in moments of physical intimacy.

Often, the difference of male and female organisms - a failed love life cause, the cause of many illnesses, psychological troubles, divorce.

Unfortunately, many men do not know about the sharp contrast of female sexual response from men. They think that women are the same feelings, the same course of reaction, as they themselves. It is important to intimnoy'zhizni ignorance, but just about it our sex education is silent. But on this disharmony wrote the great Russian scientist II Mechnikov.

What are the main features of the disharmony of the male and female organisms?

Sexually active need to wake up the girls later than boys - often only a few months after her marriage, and even after birth. A woman wakes up in the girl later than the man in the boy. It creates a tangible disorders in the first years of marriage. According to scientists, sexologists, about half of young women are beginning to really feel like a woman just a year after the wedding.

Knowing all this, we can simplify and shorten the time of awakening in the young wife of a real woman. For a woman, it becomes then, when it begins to experience feelings of adult women - active demand for physical love and the greatest pleasure from it.

The peak of the sexual needs of his wife often comes when the husband is already starting to fade a little. This often creates painful disorders in adulthood, and again it is much stronger than the oppressed woman.

In women, this peak usually occurs in 28-30 years, men - for 4-5 years before. Men are often standardized by this time in their physical love, and wakes up in women is a natural craving for novelty love, to care of the template, dulls the senses. And it happens that when they give their husbands the opportunity to experience this attraction to their diversity, are puzzled and suspicious of this.

Incidentally, the unenlightened sexuality in most people dies prematurely, the longitude of its life is much less than normal. This is especially true for women - many of them are 45-50 years believe that they already have everything in the past, and in harm to themselves and their husbands, leaving a path of physical love.

Enlightened human sexuality accompanies old age, and this is natural, normal. Doctors believe that "dolgolyubie" good for health, nerves, for the human being: it puts off retirement, maintains health , provides people with new energy, nervous and physical.

Have sexual feelings is like two engines - the psychological and physiological, and their action, their role in perceptions of women and men differ. A woman plays the first violin is psychology, and physiological mechanisms are subject to it. The woman (unlike men) often does not happen without the psychological pull of physical attraction. That is why any psychological disturbance - from rudeness and arrogance to the sudden noise - can be a jerk to stop the rise of the female libido, to disrupt it. Brake spring women's sexual feelings are much stronger than the male, and it is very much more vulnerable and fragile.

The men in the first place is often a physiological drive, psychology means to them less, and their sexual feelings, as opposed to female, can operate at the physical superiority of the fuel over the psychological.

The noticeable difference is in the speed of the physical sensations in women and men. In women, this rate slowed down in comparison with men, men - speedup compared with a woman.

What to read on the sexual culture? Unfortunately, these books are very few. Here are the main ones: Khodakov NM Young couples. 3rd ed. Moscow, 1981; Machinery AG to be aware of before marriage and in marriage. 3rd ed. Tashkent, 1981; Gudkovich LN about you and for you. Stavropol, 1977. Conversion of the book: NoybertR. A new book about marriage. Moscow, 1967; Imelinskiy K. Psychohygiene sexuality. M., 1974 Sex, marriage and family: Sat Sofia, 1977. Scientific Books related dosch-AM Women's sexual pathology. M., 1974, total sexual pathology / Ed. GS Vasilchenko. M., 1977.

Ills of ignorance, Yu Ryurikov

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