Do this to the people around you, it was good

I. Rydanova, a teacher of the Minsk Institute of Foreign Languages

Once in the theater after the show, my attention was attracted by a group of guys. They stood in the locker room, in turn, held out his number plates, hastily dressed and hurried to the door, saying the remaining: "We are waiting for the columns." From a few boys just take a guess coats not only themselves but also the two girls, who then helped to dress. All three of them lingered a few.

At the exit from the theater company, complete impatient waiting, exchanging views. Loudest resented the young baritone: "Did you see how Victor broke out?" He was echoed by a girl's voice: "The culture show! And we stand here and wait for a knight of the pre-red ladies. " They all laughed.

The boys openly boycotted the basic rules of decorum. Or maybe they did not know how to behave? No, more likely, in theory, represented, and the right cultural habits, unfortunately, did not have. Hence, a negative reaction to the normal behavior of the boy. It was unusual for the company, and therefore perceived as "broken."

Our attitude, satisfaction with life depends not only on business success and material prosperity, but to a greater extent on how you add up family relationships, academic and labor groups, in public places. Learn the art of communicating a lifetime. However, it is in the early years lay the foundation of the communicative culture.

VA Sukhomlinsky wrote: "You live among people, your every action, your every wish is reflected in the people, know that there is a boundary between what you want, and what you can, your desires - a joy or tears of your relatives, check your deeds mind: does not cause you harm, trouble, inconvenience people by their actions, do so to the people who surround you, it was good. "

Here are the facts from the life of famous people, their statements about the culture of behavior. These materials, which we accompany the questions on each of them can be used for conversations with students.

"A rough, ill-bred person is willing to consider one or another passer-by the very bad and the lowest creature on earth because he stepped on his toes. His toes, he makes the measure of evaluation of human actions. "

Karl Marx

Do you meet people whose behavior is consistent with this characterization? As it is accepted behavior in situations when someone inadvertently cause discomfort inadvertently upset?

"In Geneva, it struck me that Vladimir Lenin, leader of our revolutionary movement, do not shy away from business," women's "affairs. However, should I say about Vladimir Ilyich those few days that he spent at the apartment of my parents at the end of June 1917. Lenin did not like to look after him. He was very worried that gives any trouble on the farm in terms of cooking food, and tried to do everything himself: shrouded his bed, cleaned the room and the dishes after meals, cleaned the shoes and clothes and did not agree to do it for someone him. "

ED Stasov

How can we characterize the behavior of Lenin in the home, according to the recollections of his friend and colleague E. Stasova? And how do you feel about self-care? Aim is everything you need to do with their hands?

"I remember how carefully Lenin regarded not only their time but also other comrades. If he is assigned to someone taking the morning appointed day learn that can not accept, then he would personally rather than through the Secretary-General called a friend and warned that to take it at the appointed time can not, and arranged a time when the reception can take place . If you came to accept the appointed hour and urgent business (at that time there were many) are not allowed to Vladimir Ilyich to come, he sent his secretary to the reception to tell visitors: "Do not wait, do not sit in vain, do not waste time, take you, Vladimir Hitch can not. " But as a rule, the Secretary was obliged to come to terms on a new date for the reception, recording the phone companion that Lenin could have to phone him personally. "

ED Stasov

Are you able to take care of at the time of her friends and acquaintances. What does this mean?

including - and especially - for Volodya, a great value. First, imitating his older brother, Volodya became consciously deal with this shortcoming, and in later years, we at all - or almost - never noticed it temper. "

A. Ulyanov and

Are you encouraged by the example of Lenin? Have you ever wondered about its shortcomings? Which one is able to overcome?

"To easily lived with people that evolved with them close, warm relations, we should be able to be attentive to people, to be able to get to their place to get into their skin ..."

Krupskaya

Are you looking to understand their loved ones, colleagues and friends? Do know how to mentally put yourself in their place?

"You have a lot of what I would call a" passive "will, ie, the side will, which is directed at herself. You can bring myself to force myself to remain silent or to learn, but it may be, can not always bring himself to speak, act, to take the initiative to fight.

You must not only be able to remain silent, but to be able to say, not only to restrain, but to be able to act not only be able to suffer (and, unfortunately, sometimes in life have to), but also be able to rebel and fight. "

Armand

These are the words of the great revolutionaries of the letter to his daughter. And how you show your "passive" and "active" will?

"Do not be one of those people who are criticizing the surroundings, constantly whine on others, do not spend their ideas into practice and continue to live in the same way as all those whom they curse. Such people or hypocrites, or weak and worthless people who are not able to align their lives with their convictions. "

Armand

This is an excerpt from a letter addressed to the other daughter. Do you agree and you follow this injunction?

"All done quickly and their lives according to the plan to have everything on hand, so as not to waste a second to look, never take the trouble to question where the paper where a letter, a book and all the rest? Do not hurry, as expected of motion, so I have a lot of time to the day ...

Almost from childhood ... distributed to plan your day to do everything. Fun, games, dancing, walking always loved, but not doing nothing. "

Kollontai

This is an excerpt from the self-characterization Kollontai, an outstanding revolutionary and the first Soviet woman diplomat. Do you find it instructive? Do you have a habit of planning your day?

"The traits that I hate: insult and humiliation of human dignity, injustice and cruelty, arrogance, hypocrisy, and hypocrisy, treachery, debauchery.

The features that I appreciate: kindness to people, moral courage, self-control, discipline, curiosity and observation, love of life, nature, animals, order and plan their work and in life "

Kollontai

The same whether your assessment of human strengths and weaknesses of the opinion Kollontai?

"I was particularly fascinated by the ability of Mikhail Frunze to talk to people. Its simplicity it is at once possessed the interlocutor to be frank. He never let anyone put down, never imposed his thoughts to another, and urged patience. Encouraging reasonable initiative, Frunze encouraged and inspired man, lifted him in his own mind and in the eyes of others. "

VA Sulatsky

Describe the manner of MV Frunze conduct business conversations. Do you know how to dispose of his interlocutor?

"If you want to be around you had a good, kind people, try to treat them carefully, gently, politely - you'll see that everything will be better. Everything in life depends on you, believe me ... "

Maxim Gorky

This advice Gorky to his son Maxim. Do you have convincing experience in the words of the writer of justice?

"Everyday human behavior is largely dependent on how he sees the world in general, people on the contemporary society.

It is difficult to call for good manners a man who hates the human race in general, experiencing causeless hatred for everyone you meet, and who wants to harm the community where he has to live. "

N. Amosov

Do you agree with ztimi words? Do you know how to recognize people who have good manners conceal ill?

"... For many years my acquaintance with him, I do not remember that he was talking to someone else, find a word, even tone of voice to be superior. In the crowd he had ever stushevyvalsya. I remember once he brought me into a vegetarian dining ... They had to stand in line for a long time, and for bread and for the dishes, and for some tin coupons. I saw him there one of my friends of students.

- Who are you? - He asked.

And when I replied, "Repin", he refused and ran to the poser Ilya Efimovich with inconsiderate question:

- True what they say, that you Repin? Repin scowled and said dully:

- No, I have another name. "

KI Chukovsky

What personal qualities are reflected in this episode? "In a conversation with another person, whatever it was, especially if it was a new acquaintance, Repin, pushing himself was most interested in his companion. In general, the word "I" was very rare in his dictionary. Courtesy of his outstanding with all the excessive and often seemed at first a very embarrassing to me. When you come out, happened, to him from some doors or gates, it will never come first, but with the most courteous gestures give this honor to you.

Remarkably, he was so submissively compliant, respectful to the people only as long as long as it does not touch his cherished beliefs.

In defending his beliefs, he always grew up straight and spoke roughness at the very sharp, decisive way. "

KI Chukovsky

What impressed upon you the memory of an outstanding artist? Do you as you see contradictions in his behavior?

"The secret charm Solertinskogo II was probably the fact that he always kept natural. He was a stranger to affectation, arrogance, and deliberateness. He did not keep a distance between the n people, who often was far from it, being able to make some kind of wonderful simplicity and the illusion of full equality in relationships with them. And this was no lordly condescension and patronage. This was done by itself, must be due to an innate generosity and deep intelligence. "

Glickman I.

What features of the famous Soviet art of communication with the audience you seem worthy of imitation?

"When to Yuri Pavlovich Herman came to complain about anything - sometimes just so that only share your disappointment or misfortune - he had a half of the story, continuing to listen to, start to type a long index finger of the right phone number. For him it was imperative to intervene actively in the wrong, even if it was an injustice of fate.

He never boasted, is negligible say about themselves. Is it only in the last months of his life, I have heard from him:

- If you only knew how sick of myself!

When I asked from time to time about anything that concerned his literary success, he remained silent:

- Ah, it's not interesting.

Just as he had never complained of his failure or his bad mood. He does not tolerate this combination of words, "I have a bad mood."

- I mean, man must observe hygiene: after all, you do not go on a visit to the unwashed face or unpeeled teeth? So do not whine.

Even a few days before his death he talked about his illness. I asked him:

- Well, how do you feel? He replied:

- Come on, it's boring. "

IM M e t t e r

What kind of qualities of the personality of the writer Herman P. testifies to this story?

"It so happened that once I stepped over the threshold of the office and sitting at the table, people told me:" Come, come, brother! "

His head was gray, I remember from childhood close-cropped mustache gave silver. But the smile was all the same, clear and young. Since that day, over the years I've occasionally met with Ivan Dmitrievich Daddy-nym. And every time parting with him, I was carrying in itself a sunny, festive feeling. "

L. Pochivalov

What are the personality traits of twice Hero of the Soviet Union Papanin appeared in this episode?

"Hardly anyone could see at least once Feinberg in a bad mood: it is almost as incredible as to find him casually dressed. Even if you had appeared for a moment, by chance, without warning, he met you, as an invited guest - suave, elegant, smart, good with a friendly smile and a graceful joke. "

L. Malyugin

What personality traits of the famous Soviet playwright E. Schwartz, which is reflected in these words about him.

"He was very fond of making gifts to your friends. Do not birthday, not on solemn occasions. Come, sit down, hitrenko look at you and say:

- Brought to you one thing, in my opinion, its in your house is not, and will take out of his pocket or from the portfolio and will launch something wonderfully appropriate to you, what you have always dreamed. Sometimes you say to him:

- Yura, but it's a pity to give!

- And we must always give what a pity to give. "

IM M e t t e r

This is an excerpt from the memoirs of the famous writer P. Trifonov. As he describes the writer? And how do you express your love for family and friends?

"The war taught me to never judge a man on first impression, though many say that it is very true. It is no wonder that people are "a peck of salt" come up! The man thing is checked, not his words, not your first impression. Был в моем взводе солдат Свиридов, которого я считал божьим наказанием для себя за его своеволие, необузданность, недисциплинированность. Я не надеялся на него в бою и все искал случая, чтобы избавиться от него.

И вот первый бой. Я даже не мог представить, что человек способен преобразиться до неузнаваемости. Свиридов стал сдержанным, расчетливым, находчивым, в кризисные моменты оказывался рядом и даже давал дельные советы, вызывался на самое трудное, рискованное. После боя я не мог смотреть ему в глаза: мне было очень стыдно, что я так плохо думал о человеке, совершенно не зная его. Он стал лучшим солдатом в моем взводе и погиб под Балатоном за четыре месяца до конца войны.

С тех пор, когда встречаю незнакомого человека и он почему-то кажется мне не очень симпатичным, я всегда вспоминаю Свиридова и говорю: не спеши, первый бой покажет».

В. Быков

А вы судите ли по своему первому впечатлению о другом человеке?

«Приятные собеседники потому так редко встречаются, что люди думают не о тех словах, которым внимают, а о тех, которые жаждут произнести.

Благоразумно поступает тот, кто не исчерпывает сам предмет беседы и дает возможность другим что-то еще придумать и сказать.

Если сказать слово кстати — большое искусство, то кстати промолчать — искусство еще большее».

Ларошфуко

Справедливы ли слова французского мыслителя? Каких правил придерживаетесь вы, ведя с кем-либо беседу?

«Наши артисты часто получают письма, в которых, к сожалению, нет ничего, кроме нескромного старания завязать переписку со знаменитостями,—ни такта, ни интереса к искусству любимого певца. Вряд ли уважающий себя человек захочет отвечать на такие письма. У наших ребят есть прекрасные, богатейшие возможности для подлинной, настоящей дружбы с искусством. И с этим ничего общего не имеет то нескромное обожание, которое обращено главным образом к внешности, к цвету волос артиста.

Лет семьдесят назад в институтах для благородных девиц считалось, что каждая институтка должна иметь своего «обоже». Как живуче мещанство! Казалось бы, давно нет у нас институток, а вот...»

Н. И. С а ц

А вы знаете таких ребят, о которых пишет народная артистка России Н. И. Сац?

«Настоящие крупные личности крайне скромны. Они потому и крупные, что поняли сердцем, талантом, интуицией, что величие именно в простоте.., потому что полны своей внутренней изнурительной, интенсивной жизнью. Они не занимаются сплетнями. Им некогда, им не до этого. Они не требуют от окружающих особой почтительности, а тем более униженного раболепия и подхалимства».

Л. М. Гурченко

Можете ли вы привести примеры, подтверждающие слова народной артистки России Л. М. Гурченко?

«Если я мужчина в расцвете сил или юноша, достаточно окрепший физически, на меня ложатся дополнительные обязанности. Я хорошо знаю, что при правовом расенстве наших граждан физического равенства не существует. Есть женщины — как правило, они несколько слабее мужчин, есть пожилые люди обоего пола — они также слабее меня. Наконец, дети — это предмет всеобщей заботы и охраны. Тот избыток сил, который отпущен мне природой, я, живя в обществе, обязан компенсировать частыми, многими и бескорыстными услугами по адресу более слабых».

Н. А. Акимов

Do you share the views of People's Artist of Russia Nikolai A. Akimov on the duties of man? How do you behave with respect to the elderly, women, young children?

"Turn to face the speaker. Maintain eye contact with him. Make sure that your posture suggests that you are listening. Sit or stand at a distance from the interlocutor, which provides a convenient communication to both. Remember that the speaker wants to communicate with an attentive, lively conversationalist, and not to a brick wall.

Focus on the fact that they talk to. Since focused attention may be short (less than one minute), listening requires conscious attention.

To help focus on what they talk about what is likely to be your attention and verbal activity.

Try to understand not only the meaning of words, and feelings of the interlocutor.

Stick to the approving attitudes towards the other party ... The more the speaker feels the approval, the more he expresses what he wants to say. Any negative attitudes on the part of the hearer is a defensive response, a sense of insecurity and suspicion in communication.

When you are worried or emotionally aroused, the least able to listen to what others say.

Do not pretend that listening to ... Pretending is usually perceived as an insult. It's better to admit that at the moment you can not listen, saying, for example, on employment.

If someone reports or reports on its work and you need to argue, first listen to his explanation, and then express their opinions or objections.

Do not interrupt unnecessarily. If you need to kill someone in a serious conversation, and then help to restore your line of thought was interrupted conversation.

Do not make hasty conclusions.

Do not ask too many questions ... Too many questions suppresses the interlocutor, he takes the initiative and put in a defensive position.

Do not give advice until asked.

The mass confusion going on in my life just because we can not listen to others and do not try to understand the feelings experienced by them and their point of view. "

I. Atvater

Do you stick to the rules set out by American psychologist?

"For a man must not only feel gratitude, but also be able to express it - look, smile, word, deed. "I have no words to convey my deep gratitude ..." To hear it is important to tailor and hairdresser, doctor and teacher, for his mother and beloved - for all, without whose help and care can not exist a single person. Thank you for the gift and help, for advice and a kind word, a letter of congratulation and for participating and location - the debt-bred man. "

BV Busheleva

Together you with the opinion of the teacher? Thank you mom for the delicious lunch, the teachers - for extra classes with you, a classmate if he helped you in some way?

"The young actress Svetlana Amanova long time was not given the role of Helena in the movie" Before. " We had to postpone the work. But one director, People's Artist of USSR, Nikolai Mashchenko said:

- Svetlana Gennadievna, let me give you a bouquet of roses. Seeing the flowers, the actress said softly:

- For what?

After a short silence, the director said:

- In a bad shot.

На мгновение растерявшись, Светлана улыбнулась:

— За это не возьму розы, да еще такие красивые.

— Мы дарим вам розы с верой в ваш талант... в то, что роль Елены — ваша роль. И в то, что вы сможете создать образ этой русской девушки.

Прижав цветы к груди, Светлана долго стояла в задумчивости, будто издалека медленно возвращаясь к самой себе.

Съемки в тот день прошли успешно. Актриса играла вдохновенно. Глубина ее чувств, раскованность, искренность, легкость движений — все было одухотворено внутренним светом».

«Советский экран», октябрь 1985 г., № 19, с. 17. Как можно объяснить столь внезапное проявление творческого вдохновения актрисы?

Сергей, учащийся техникума, был приглашен в гости к сокурснице, которая жила вдвоем с матерью. Чтобы сделать девушке приятное, юноша купил букетик первых фиалок.

Дверь открыла мать.

— Добрый день, Мария Петровна, а Таня дома?

— Пожалуйста, проходи. Дочка, к тебе гость.

Когда вышла Таня, Сергей вручил ей цветы: «Это тебе, ты ведь любишь фиалки».

Достаточно ли учтив был юноша?

В магазине «Книга» между пожилым покупателем и продавцом состоялся следующий диалог:

— Мужчина, сначала заплатите за выбранные книги, а уж потом пройдете в букинистический отдел.

— Скажите, пожалуйста, а вам не режет слух слово «мужчина»? По-моему, правильнее было бы сказать «гражданин» или «товарищ»?

— Но ведь вы же не женщина, а мужчина! Я же вас не оскорбила!

Как следовало бы обратиться продавцу к покупателю и покупателю к продавцу?

«Всякий разговор, даже о погоде, она непременно сводила на спор. У нее была какая-то страсть — ловить всех на слове, уличать в противоречии, придираться к фразе. Вы начинаете говорить с ней о чем-нибудь, а она пристально смотрит вам в лицо и вдруг перебивает: «Позвольте, позвольте, Петров, третьего дня вы говорили совсем проти-воположное!» ...Если вы сострили или сказали каламбур, тотчас же вы слышите ее голос: «Это старо!» или «Это плоско!». Если же острит офицер, то она делает презрительную гримасу и говорит: «Арррмей-ская острота».

Anton Chekhov

Как можно охарактеризовать поведение Вари, - персонажа рассказа А. П. Чехова «Учитель словесности»?

«До чего же бывает неловко в присутствии людей, которые, желая произвести хорошее впечатление, злоупотребляют гиперболизированными выражениями благодарности и бесконечными извинениями в самых обычных нейтральных условиях общения. Я слышала однажды, как громоздились горы вежливости вокруг... переданной за обедом солонки: «Простите, пожалуйста, если вас не затруднит, окажите любезность, передайте мне, будьте добры, соль...» И когда просительница получила желанный предмет, то рассыпалась в ответных излияниях: «Благодарю вас, большое спасибо, очень вам признательна».

Б. В. Бушелева

А как, по вашему мнению, следовало бы вести себя в подобных ситуациях?

«По признанию родителей, почти половина старшеклассников не

учитывает в своих запросах возможностей семейного бюджета, требуя

for them to purchase expensive things, without which you can get by

tis. В двух третях семей эти запросы удовлетворяются, причем

нередко в ущерб нуждам самих родителей». С. И. Плаксин

Как вы оцениваете поведение таких старшеклассников? А как ведете себя сами?

«Как нам кажется, один из секретов абхазского долголетия кроется именно в том, что в целом старики у нас не только не чувствуют себя ни дома, ни в обществе лишними людьми или тягостной обузой, а наоборот, вполне сознают свою полезность, полноценность, что содействует их моральной и физической стойкости и выносливости. В обществе и у себя дома, в кругу своих детей и близких, они получают все необходимое для спокойной жизни и морального удовлетворения даже в случаях длительной болезни. Именно вот эта забота, это внимание, которым их окружают все — и малые, и взрослые,— поселяют в них уверенность содействующую долголетию без одряхления».

Это вывод советского ученого-этнографа Ш. Д. Инал-Ипа.

Усматриваете ли вы связь между здоровьем пожилого человека и отношением к нему окружающих, в особенности близких?

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